


Don't Jump (Rescue Me)

by NeverSatisfiedGirl (Kalli_Ravenne)



Series: Unsteady (Gravity) [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Reader-Insert, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 20:08:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11111937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalli_Ravenne/pseuds/NeverSatisfiedGirl
Summary: You lose yourself in the wake of a devastating argument, and confront a painful truth about yourself in the process.





	Don't Jump (Rescue Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings (some potential triggers): suicide attempt, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a hopeful ending. Reader is struggling with multiple mental illnesses: adult ADHD, anxiety, depression, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria with suicidal ideation.
> 
> Inspired by: Tokio Hotel - [Don’t Jump](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTwYdiuQa34) ( **Finn** ) and [Rescue Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGwMrGNtzto) ( _Reader_ )
> 
> A/N: Hello hello! So this came from a quiet moment at home where I imagined Finn talking someone down from the edge. It got personal, and I ended up crying as it unfolded. Turned out to be therapeutic in a way I didn’t know I needed.
> 
> Anywho, I hope you enjoy it. :)

It’s so quiet up here.  


A frigid wave of air washes over me as I take in the night sky above.

I never really looked at the stars before. Not like this. High above the light pollution, I can see everything. The unmarked horizon. The lake across the street, inky black and restless under the waning moon.

I could relate somehow.

I can feel him behind me. He’s saying my name quietly. I can only guess that he saw the wreckage in the living room.

I didn’t care. I was too busy watching the lights. My balance is sure, if a little shaky.

The stars really were amazing tonight, even the ones that were dying.

 _It’s beautiful out, isn’t it?_ I whisper to no one in particular.

 **Yeah. Yeah, it is.** The defeat in his voice should hurt. Maybe it does. It’s my fault it’s there to begin with.

 _I’m sorry, Finn,_ I apologize. _Sorry I’m such a fuck-up. Sorry I couldn’t be what you needed-_

 **Don't….God _please_ , don’t do this,** he pleads in a tight voice trembling with anguish. **It doesn’t have to be this way. We can get you help-**

_And then what? I know how this is gonna go. You’ll decide to give up on me and leave again when I become too much to handle. And I’ll come back up here, wishing I didn’t listen to you before and finally follow through for fucking once._

**You’ve had too much wine, you don’t know what you’re saying -**

_I’m fucking sober, Finn!_ I cried out. _Not a fucking drop of alcohol in my body. I’m completely aware of what I’m about to do_.

The tears I’d held back were falling. _This isn’t a punishment. I’m saving you._

**From what?**

_From me! I’m… they’re right, Finn. I’m defective. Have been since birth._

**No-**

_You’ve seen it in action, don’t bullshit me. I forget things, I do dumb shit without purpose, I either can’t focus for shit or get so lost you think I’m ignoring you. My highs are too high, and my lows? Fuck, I can’t even be depressed without you thinking it’s your fault. A-and the rejection? The feeling I get in my chest when you push me away? I know you’re tired and I want to help you feel better… because it makes me feel better somehow. Like I have a purpose in someone’s life. Like…like I’m not…fucked up and useless._

I look up at the stars again. _Maybe there’s a better place for me outside of this. Where I don’t have to hurt anyone. Where I’m not failing you every moment of the day. You’re better off without me._

Deflated, I lurch on the wide ledge, never looking down. 

I heard my name again, thick with emotion.

**Remember the day we met? The red slush on my white polo at the Crystal Gardens at Navy Pier? You were so freaked out thinking you’d ruined my shirt even after I got another shirt and got you another drink. You barely noticed that I’d asked you out to lunch.**

My throat hurt from the lump stretching in it. _You, um…you asked me twice just to make sure I’d heard you, and I still couldn’t believe it._

**That’s right. And months later, when we met again at the same place, and we kissed on the Ferris wheel while the fireworks went off?**

_I was…_ I swallowed before continuing. _I kissed you first. I was so nervous but I surprised myself._

**And the day you were so down you spent the whole day in bed, knowing I had to leave soon?**

_You wrapped me in blankets, brought chocolate bars and pizza rolls, and we spent the entire day watching Family Guy._

**And you took me into the blankets with you and cuddled with me until you fell asleep.**

A weak laugh escaped me. _Yeah._

He sighed deeply, as if steadying himself. **Those are just some of my favorite memories of you. No matter how awkward or scattered, they’re special to me because of you. It’s been so busy lately that…** He huffed, impatient with himself.   **I don’t…I don’t fully understand your condition. I wish I did, and… I’m so sorry that I hadn’t considered it before.**

_I never really talked about it._

**I wish you had. I’d have read everything, learned as much as I could so I knew what to do, what to look for. I could have been more helpful. You needed me. And I failed you. You have every right to be angry with me, yell at me, kick me out of your life, but please… not like this. I don’t want you to go. I never did. And I hate myself for being so pissed before.**

I could hear his heart breaking as he spoke. It sounded a lot like my own. **Please, love. Please come down. Take my hand. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.**

_I didn’t want this. I don’t want this._

**We’ll figure this out together, like we always have. You’re not useless or fucked up. You’re… you’re _everything_ to me.**

Tears flowed like rivers this time. His hand brushed against mine.

I took it and fell back against his solid frame, right into his arms.

Apologies fell from my mouth in concert with his. _**I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me…**_

We collapse on the rooftop in sadness and relief, clutching on to each other until the shaking passed. Exhausted and drained, we carry each other as far as the couch and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

He’s right. We’ll figure it out together, like we always do.

Tomorrow.


End file.
